Movie Reviews Archive

Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting: Zatoichi the Outlaw

This was the first Zatoichi film produced by Shintarô Katsu’s production company and it’s trying a little too hard to be a blind swordsman epic. The storyline is more complex than normal and there are a lot of characters to keep track of, all of whom have a significant part to play.

As is the norm for the series, Zatoichi comes into a town and sorts things out before going on his way. This time he leaves the workers with a benevolent boss (having killed the previous one) and a sword-less samurai looking out for their wellbeing. Or so he thinks. Months later he returns to find the boss was not as benevolent as he appeared and the sword-less samurai has been taken prisoner for trying to organize the workers (and inciting them to give up gambling and whoring and get to work in the fields). Of course Zatoichi puts things right, or as right as he can given some of the characters have already died, slicing up the bad guys before once again leaving town.

Zatoichi the Outlaw has all the things that have become familiar through the series, and I do mean all. The film feels like a compilation, sort of a Zatoichi’s greatest hits. We get the decent woman forced into prostitution, the noble samurai looking to make up for past deeds, the evil boss (in fact more than one), the crooked gambling den, and of course Zatoichi’s usual tricks, one of which starts the film, as he’s challenged to hit a target with a bow and arrow but asks for a smaller target first.

The Friday Night Fright: The Eye

I’ve a lot of time for the Pang Brothers, their films are visually stylish but not at the expense of character and they’ve managed to avoid getting pigeonholed as horror directors. The Eye is probably their most well known film, and also the most successful, spawning two sequels, but I found it a little disappointing and not particularly original.

A cornea transplant patient starts seeing dead people and the mysterious shadow figures that come to take them away. Sound familiar? The Eye borrows a lot from The Sixth Sense and doesn’t do a very good job of hiding it.

The pace of the film is quite slow, not uncommon for Asian horror films, and adds to the feeling of mounting tension and there are some very creepy set pieces. Angelica Lee is excellent as Wong Kar Mun the woman who regains her sight after being blind since she was an infant but the love story angle of the film, that sees her doctor falling for her, doesn’t work and feels superfluous.

The film seems to lose its way at the end, with the reason behind the visions more tragic than terrifying, something the Pang’s must have realised as they seem to rush through this part of the film in order to get to the Hollywood style explosive climax, which put me in mind of The Mothman Prophecies, a film that was released a few months before The Eye. I can’t help wondering if this ending was a late addition, something the brothers came up with after seeing Mothman but regardless, it feels at odds the with quiet chills that are generated throughout the rest of the film.

TV Tomb: The Guns of Will Sonnett – Season 1

While I remember several of the western TV shows of the ‘60s this one escapes me, in fact I’m not even sure it was ever shown on UK television. It’s your typical man/men on a quest type of series with Walter Brennan playing the title role while Dack Rambo, later of Dallas fame, plays his grandson Jeff. The pair are searching for Will’s son, legendary gunfighter Jim Sonnett, the father Jeff has never seen. Their search leads them into all sorts of adventure, from both old acquaintances of Will and enemies of Jim.

Walter Brennan relishes being the star of the show, making the most of the series format to develop Will beyond the stereotypical cantankerous grandfather he starts out as, into a fully rounded character. The series fills in the details of his past as an army scout and his estrangement from his son as it progresses, giving us little nuggets every few episodes.

If Brennan provides the acting then Rambo is there to handle the action, getting stuck in to the fight scenes with gusto while also providing eye candy to appease the ladies in the audience. His acting is nothing special but he does a serviceable job, mostly just needing to look hurt, confused or occasionally, angry.

Comic Tales: Fantastic Four

Anyone expecting the serious minded superheroics of X-Men, or the angst-ridden thrills of Spider-Man would perhaps have been a bit disappointed by Fantastic Four, but for me it does a decent job of capturing the fun tone of the original comic. The X-Men are outcasts from humanity, Spider-Man is a masked vigilante who does what he does out of guilt over the death of his Uncle Ben, the FF on the other hand are public figures, they don’t hide their identities behind masks, they’re celebrities and the film portrays them as such, or rather there evolution to celebrity status following the accident that gives them their powers.

The film’s heart may be in the right place, but its casting is a hit and miss affair. First the misses – Ioan Gruffudd as Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic and Jessica Alba as Sue Storm/Invisible Woman. Gruffudd lacks the presence for Reed Richards, the part calls for someone who can command the screen, whereas when Gruffudd’s with the other three he’s the last one you look at.

I like Jessica Alba, she’s undeniably beautiful and a capable enough actress given a part that plays to her strengths, said strengths not including playing a technobabbleing scientist. The film tries to get around this by that old standby when depicting intelligent characters – have her wear specs. Sadly this ruse doesn’t work, and Alba only gets to make an impression in the scene where she suddenly becomes visible in her undies. That she and Gruffudd have little onscreen chemistry doesn’t help matters.

Watching the Detectives: John Wayne is McQ

Stan Boyle, a friend of Lon McQ’s, is found badly wounded and the veteran cop is convinced local villain Manny Santiago is behind it, so he goes looking for a little payback. When he’s chastised by his superior, Ed Kosterman (Eddie Albert), for assaulting Santiago, McQ quits the force and searches for evidence that will prove Santiago was behind the murder (Boyle dies in hospital), but he discovers far more than he bargained for.

A John Wayne film directed by John Sturges is an exciting prospect but sadly the finished article failed to live up to its potential. Had they made a western together instead of a modern-day thriller things might have been different but Wayne is too old, too fat, and too out of his element in McQ for it to really work. Wayne’s westerns of the ‘70s had him, for the most part at least, aging gracefully, with his roles in Big Jake, The Cowboys, and The Shootist fitting the actor perfectly. Yet both the contemporary films he made that decade, this and Brannigan, have him playing a cop, when a man his age would have been pensioned off. Brannigan is the more fun of the two, it at least knows it’s silly and plays on that, but McQ plays it straight and is much the worse for it.

Literally Speaking: No Way Out

No Way Out starts with Lieutenant Commander Tom Farrell (Kevin Costner) being questioned, by whom and about what isn’t really clear. The film then jumps back three months and starts to fill in the details. We see Farrell fall for Susan Atwell (Sean Young) with Atwell equally besotted with him, problem is she also happens to be the mistress of Defense Secretary David Brice (Gene Hackman). This isn’t too big a problem initially, as Farrell is posted overseas, but when he’s called back to Washington by old friend Scott Pritchard (Will Patton) to work for Brice, a love triangle develops. Farrell isn’t too happy when he learns Brice is his competition, while Brice is not pleased when he discovers that all his generosity hasn’t bought Atwell’s fidelity. He’s so unhappy in fact that he gets a bit rough and accidently kills the girl. Cue Brice’s Mr Fix-it, Pritchard, who comes up with a clever plan to blame the murder on her lover (who they don’t know the identity of), frame him as a Russian spy and send…can you guess? Yep Farrell is assigned the job of hunting himself.

For the first forty minutes No Way Out is a love story, and a typically ‘80s one, with syrupy pop songs accompanying the sex/love scenes while a synthesiser score, by Maurice Jarre trying to sound like son Jean-Michel, fills in the gaps. With the death of Atwell though it becomes a Hitchcockian wrong-man style thriller, albeit one that really wishes it was a serous political thriller instead. Director Roger Donaldson keeps things moving along, sticking in a couple of chase sequences when the story starts to get bogged down, but he’s hampered early on by his actors.

I Spy: The Spy with My Face

Evil organisation THRUSH (the series never explained what the acronym stands for) attempts to infiltrate UNCLE (that one stands for “United Network Command for Law and Enforcement”) by replacing their top agent, Napoleon Solo, with a doppelganger. There aim is to crack an operation codenamed “The August Affair”, and get their hands on Project Earthsave, a top secret energy source.

Unlike Flint and Helm, The Man from UNCLE series played it (relatively) straight, at least it did until its third season. This “movie” is really a couple of first season episodes cobbled together, along with some extra footage that was a bit too risqué for television at the time. The film holds together relatively well considering, although it does plod a little in the middle. The series and these spin-off films would get better as the series found its feet. The villains improved as well, with some big name guest stars making an appearance. Here all we get is Senta Berger, who, while certainly not unpleasant to look at, isn’t particularly threatening.

Still at least Mr Smooth, Robert Vaughn, is on hand. Snappy dresser, seducer of beautiful women and no slouch when it comes to mixing it up with the bad guys, Napoleon Solo is America’s answer to James Bond and Vaughn is the perfect choice to play him. Here he also gets to play his double but doesn’t really get to have much fun being evil as he’s just pretending to be the real Solo.

SF & Fantasy Sunday: Battlefield Earth

It’s one thing to read how bad a film is but until you actually experience it first hand it’s hard to appreciate just how truly awful it can be. Case in point Battlefield Earth, a film that scores a measly 2.3 and ranks at number 89 in the IMDb Bottom 100 films and gets just 3% on Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer. Yet those figures don’t prepare you for just how bad this is, it’s a galactic sized turkey, the sort of film even Alan Smithee wouldn’t want his name on.

It starts out innocently enough; humanity’s last few survivors have reverted to little more than barbarism, a bit like one of those cheap ‘80s Italian Mad Max knockoffs. Everyone has scruffy clothes, dreadlocked hair and perfectly made-up faces (particularly Sabine Karsenti). It’s all a bit silly but no worse than many other films I’ve seen. Thinks reach a whole other level of crap though with the arrival of John Travolta and the other eight feet tall Psychloians, an alien race that has taken over the earth in order to steal its natural resources, primarily gold. Quite why these intergalactic thieves have such a need for gold is never really explained, but that’s just one of the many holes in the story and doesn’t come close to our intrepid survivors being able to learn how to fly jets after a go in a flight simulator.

Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting: Return of the Street Fighter

Sonny Chiba returns as Takuma Tsurugi for the orgy of violence that is Return of the Street Fighter. Chiba’s character may not be quite as cold and merciless as he was in the first film but he’s still one mean badass.

The movie ties in directly to its predecessor, with a couple of characters making return appearances, one of which is decidedly unexpected. The frequency of the fights has been upped from the first film, to such an extent that there’s barely enough space between to tell a coherent story. Basically Tsurugi finds himself on the wrong side of the Mafia when he turns down an assassination job and the Mafia don’t take his refusal lightly. Early in the film we see several martial arts masters displaying their mastery of various weapons, from nunchucks to a samurai sword, and you know it’s a safe bet that Tsurugi is going to be facing off against them at some point. Sure enough it’s these men that the Mafia send against him.

Tsurugi takes on many of these weapons masters in a fight in the snow, in which he wears not only his trademark black outfit but also, amusingly, a white woolly hat. The film is packed with memorable confrontations, including one in a massage parlour that allows Chiba to show off his impressive physique while taking on multiple opponents. And, just in case you thought he was going soft, he eliminates a beautiful assassin with cold efficiency…but only after, James Bond style, he samples her ample charms.

The Weekend Western: Ulzana’s Raid

When Ulzana leads a band of renegade Apaches off the reservation, Lieutenant DeBuin is assigned to capture or kill him. Along with his cavalry detachment DeBuin is assigned two scouts, McIntosh and Ke-Ni-Tay. McIntosh is a veteran who respects the Apache while Ke-Ni-Tay is an Apache who is bound by his word to serve or as he puts it “Ke-Ni-Tay sign paper. Ke-Ni-Tay soldier.” The film deals with DeBuin’s hunt for Ulzana and the atrocities they find in the Apache’s wake.

Robert Aldrich’s film doesn’t go in for the panoramic vistas of John Ford, he’s not interested in showing us the beauty of the west, focusing instead on the brutality of the people who inhabit it. Made at a time when the trend was to show Native Americans in a sympathetic light, with films like Little Big Man and Soldier Blue, Ulzana’s Raid instead shows them as savage killers. It’s not that Aldrich paints them as the villain, more that their idea of morality is so alien to men like DeBuin that they may as well be form another planet. Even McIntosh, who appreciates their single-minded simplicity doesn’t understand them, seeing them as almost a force of nature – a hard people for a hard land.