Archive for February 3rd, 2008

SF & Fantasy Sunday: The Sword and the Sorcerer

By
Ian W
Published: February 3, 2008Posted in: Fantasy, Movie ReviewsTags:

‘Twas a time of sorcery and adventure, a time of strapping heroes with floppy hair and big swords, ‘twas…the early eighties! Fantasy movies of the sword and sorcery variety had their heyday then, with Conan and his wannabes hacking their way into theatres.

The Sword and the Sorcerer is Conan Lite, a barbarian on a budget. Its cheap production allowed it to reach cinemas ahead of the film that it was aping, if only by a few weeks. Whereas Milius’ Conan was an epic spectacle, The Sword and the Sorcerer was about making a little go a long way. In the director’s chair for the first time, Albert Pyun made probably the best film of his career, but with a career that includes Brain Smasher… A Love Story and Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon that’s not really saying much.

The film makes up for what it lacks in class with copious amounts of bloody violence and female nudity. It also has some decent effects work (for the budget) with the demon Xusia an unpleasant looking villain.

Lee Horsley doesn’t have half Arnie’s muscles and plays the part of Talon more like Indiana Jones with a sword than Conan. Perennial bad guy Richard Lynch is the evil usurper Cromwell, while Richard Moll plays/voices Xusia (he only appears in the make-up in the opening scene). Kathleen Beller is the princess who needs rescuing, because this kind of film has to have one. No nudity from her sadly, she keeps her bits covered up (nice butt though).

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The Weekend Western: Texas Adios

By
Ian W
Published: February 3, 2008Posted in: Movie Reviews, WesternsTags:

1966 was a busy year for Franco Nero, along with a thriller or two, a comedy, some schlocky sci fi and a biblical epic, he found time to star in three spaghetti westerns – the seminal Django, Lucio Fulci’s Massacre Time and Texas Adios. Of the three Texas Adios is, by a long way, the least interesting.

Nero is Burt Sullivan, a small town sheriff, who at the start of the film decides it’s time to head for Mexico to avenge his father’s murder. Considering his pappy died when he was seven it’s strange that Burt’s waited so long before hitting the vengeance trail, maybe he was waiting for his little brother Jim to grow up. Jim decides he’s going to tag along to see justice done for the dad he never knew.

I won’t spoil the film’s twist, but it has much in common with similar familial confusion in Massacre Time. Unlike that film though there’s too little going on to keep the viewers attention, apart from a violent barroom brawl none of the action scenes stand out. Ferdinando Baldi lacks the style of Fulci or Corbucci and the film’s plodding pace doesn’t help matters.

Nero looks and acts cool but Alberto Dell’Acqua as his brother hams it up big time and is a constant source of irritation. Even the music is below par, and that’s usually something you can rely on in an Italian western.

This is one for Franco Nero or spaghetti western completists only.

Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting: Ninja in the Dragon’s Den

By
Ian W
Published: February 3, 2008Posted in: Martial Arts, Movie ReviewsTags:

I must confess that I prefer my martial arts movies sans wirework but there are exceptions, Iron Monkey and Once Upon a Time in China are two that spring to mind. Sadly Ninja in the Dragon’s Den isn’t going to be joining that list.

Things don’t get off to a good start, with the opening credits featuring some synchronised ninjitsu to a very eighties ninja song. Clearly we weren’t going to see scary killer ninjas here, what we get instead is an action comedy with a somewhat uneven tone.

The problem with Honk Kong comedies is that the humour doesn’t always translate, or when it does it’s often too broad and unsophisticated for a western audience. Most feature a goofball character who’s there as a comedy fall guy, Ninja in the Dragon’s Den has one of these and he’s as funny as such characters usually are , which is to say not very funny at all.

If most of the comedy misses the mark at least the action is well choreographed and inventively filmed. It suffers though from the uneven tone of the film, switching from slapstick comedy to one of the heroes violently garrotting a lead bad guy in the space of a couple of minutes, and it doesn’t help that the reason for this switch turns out to be a hoax.

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