SF & Fantasy Sunday: Conan the Barbarian

When I first saw Conan the Barbarian I was disappointed, I was a big fan of the character and the film failed to match my vision of him. My image of Conan was one made up as much by Marvel’s Savage Sword of Conan and Conan the Barbarian comics as by Robert E. Howard’s stories and John Milius’ film felt too ponderous, it lacked that pulpish fun that made the books and comics so enjoyable.

Yet I’ve come back to the film time and again over the years, owning it on VHS and two different DVD releases, and each time I think I’ve enjoyed it more. The reason for that is simple; it no longer bears the weight of having to match my image of Conan. It is what it is, and while that isn’t my ideal vision, there is still much to enjoy about the film.

One thing it doesn’t have though is great performances, Arnie would improve as his career progressed, but he’d always be closer to winning a Razzie than an Oscar. What amazed me while doing a little research before writing this, was that Sandahl Bergman, who played Conan’s love interest Valeria, wasn’t just nominated for the Golden Globe’s New Star of the Year but actually won the award! Was 1982 a particularly lean year for new talent in Hollywood? Surely it must have been as she manages to make Mr Schwarzenegger look good, giving a flat lifeless performance. Thankfully her career nosedived after winning the award.

So if it doesn’t feature great acting what does it have going for it? Great visuals is the answer. It’s a film all about the look, even down to the actors - you don’t pick Schwarzenegger for his acting ability. The film is breathtaking to look at, giving the film a real epic feel. It may be shallow but at least it looks nice, and as the film features one of the lowest word-per-minute averages of any Hollywood film we get plenty of time to enjoy it.

Then there’s Basil Poledouris’ bombastic score. If the film didn’t fit the vision I conjured up at least Poledouris managed to provide the musical accompaniment to the Hyborian Age that dwells in my mind. It’s big, it’s bold and it’s frankly bloody beautiful.

Another big plus is the action. This isn’t a toned down PG13 Conan as we’d probably see him today; this is a hacking, slashing, blood spurting barbarian. It’s during the action scenes that Arnie comes into his own, showing he’s capable enough when it comes to physical acting.

There are some things that still don’t feel right though, and top among them are Thulsa Doom’s mullet haired henchmen who’d look more at home in Spinal Tap than the Hyborian Age. Having seen the film so many times this is now more amusing than irratating (particularly where one of them starts swinging his big mallet about).

There’s more good than bad here though and while it may be not be intellectually stimulating it does provide plenty of visceral thrills. After all it’s good to let your inner barbarian out once in a while.

January 13th, 2008 Posted by Ian W | Action, Fantasy, Movie Reviews | one comment